Another chat

in the same boat

i'm 36 white irish italian american 6'1 190

i let a friend of friend crash at my place

he was in town for a conference

still consider myself straight, not my usual thing

Thanks.  It's that I never thought of doing that and I struggled and it hurt but after awhile it felt sick that I got hard and that there was some pleasure that messed me up.

i know exactly what you're saying

we had been out drinking and never thought something like that would happen

i'm not into guys but now i'm having trouble dating girls

i couldn't believe i got hard when that was happening

The worst part that i was too embarrassed to tell before was that because he had me pinned onto the table and doing it to me I got hard and because of the friction of rubbing against the table I came   when he was done and I got up he saw it and laughed and said i must have really liked it.

I haven't done anything with anyone since.  I can't even think about girls since.

i was in bed and had fallen asleep

when it was first going on i was dreaming, thought my girl had come over

we never talked about it and he left the next day

i've seen him with friends back in town

i'm just afraid he's going tell one of my buddies

This guy was a total stranger.  I see that he still posts but not the massage trap anymore.  I know it's him because he posts a dick pick I and recognize the tattoos he has on his body.

what surprised me the most was that i got hard

i wasn't that i was playing with my self and he didn't touch my dick

i didn't cum

if you did, does that mean you think you like taking a cock in your ass?

That's why I'm sort of messed up and thinking about it.  Thinking that I really liked it.

i definitely would never do that again

but i now think about fucking a guy and making him take my cock in his ass

the troubles i've been having with girls i think i need to do this

get my agression back

i know it sounds weird

i would never date a dude

Yes that's the thing I don't see myself as turning gay and dating men.

yeah, same

i just have a fantasy of reliving a rape scene where i fuck a guy

I've read thay some guys who had it done to them either want to it to others and other guys become passive.

yeah i havent thought about it that much

but sometimes when im watching porn, i look at the guy who's fucking the girl and think about bending him over and fucking him really hard whether he's going to like it or not. actually fucking a gay guy doesnt interest me at all.

I thought porn would help it triggers feelings I'm trying not to have.

yeah i know.were u forced to have cum in your mouth?

No.  That didn’t happen.

would you try?

I know that guys are going to want that.  I used to go on CL to find guys to blow me.  Now I think about it and that I'm going to have to.

do you think you can do it good, like really do it the way you would want it done? i think it would be hot to make you suck my dick

I sometimes would watch guys doing me and now I think about what they did with their lips, mouths and tongues.  You want to teach me to be a cocksucker.

sure, but you would have to keep this discreet. you understand im not going to touch you cock in ant way. u cool with that?

Right I would need it discreet.  I know that stuff like this is going to one sided.  That a bi straight guy isn't going to touch me or anything except to get sucked or fuck.  I was like that.

He didn’t answer back and I wrote him again and he didn’t answer.  Chatting with him got me to be honest out loud and with myself that I really wanted have sex with men.